The events this past Friday have left so many feeling sad, angry and anxious. I was at home while my children were napping when I received a text from a friend. “I’m so sorry to hear. I pray that everyone is okay.” I just assumed she meant to send the text to someone else. When I realized what was going on, I was in disbelief. How is this happening again? As a parent, I was so grateful to know that my children were safe. I knew there were parents eagerly waiting to hear if their kids were okay. After events like these, it is hard to know what to say to your child. How much do you share about what happened? How much do they know or understand? How can you make them feel safe after something like this? Below are some tips for parents and caregivers that can offer guidance on how to talk to children after a traumatic event. May these tips be a guide and comfort during this time.

Limit Media

First and foremost, limit the exposure of media surrounding Friday’s events in order to reduce the risk of trauma to your child. While we all can be curious at times, be aware of what your child is seeing and watching.

Communicate

Be there to talk to your child on their terms. If they have questions about the event, talk to them and keep it simple and in a developmentally appropriate way. These events affect everyone differently so don’t assume it will impact them in the same way it is impacting you. Whether it is talking, drawing, writing or singing, these are all great ways to help your child express their emotions in a healthy way.

Reassure

Sometimes it is hard to gain perspective in times like this. Reassure your child that schools are still a very safe place to be. This is a rare occurrence. Adults are doing everything they can to make sure students are safe each and everyday.

Comfort and Support

You might see some changes in your child during this time including changes with eating, sleeping, or mood. This is all a very normal response to trauma. Being there for extra comfort and support is important. Also keeping a routine and consistency provides additional reassurance that your child is safe.

Listen

Remember to listen to your child. Follow their lead and pay attention to what they are saying. When they want to talk about what happened, they will let you know. Accept and validate their feelings and let them know it is okay to feel sad, scared, or angry. Sometimes providing an ear to listen is the best thing you can do.